The student, youth, graduate, ‘tax-dodger’ and boy racer can take a lot of flak in the press and modern society, but generalising a whole generation thanks to a few individuals is a very naïve notion to behold. One thing you can do, however, is say that all teenagers and university students are looking to attract the opposite sex, for sex. It’s a blunt statement, but the reality is they’re hormonal and young – what else matters? Oh yeah, cars, too! Combining the two or, even better, using the car to attract the opposite sex is the ultimate challenge for the above generation. Here’s how you can do it on a shoestring and without a Ferrari.
First off, pimp whatever you’ve got. You’re young, rich – thanks to your dispensable student loan – and looking for some lovin’, so all you need to do is look at what you’ve got and get creative. Even if it’s a 0.8-litre Nissan Micra from an era that pre-dates the front-loading washing machine, it’s still applicable to some pimpacation. Modifications on a budget can add just a tiny bit of respect to your disrespectful old banger and could just pull you that special little lady.
The best way to go is spend your money on a sound system – after all, without banging tunes, who’s going to even look at you? You need to attract attention – even if it’s from your awful tunes annoying everyone on campus – to ensure that the ladies see that you are actually in existence. Spend no more than £200 on some good front speakers, a nice new headunit and, if you can afford it, a subwoofer and amp. The neighbours won’t thank you, but your lower extremities might.
Remember, it’s not all about 0-62mph times, 1/4mile figures and top end speed; you don’t need a Ferrari to attract a woman, you just need ingenuity. If you’re 17/18/19 and you’ve just passed, your fellow lady friends will just be impressed that you own a car – never mind what it is. Without wheels you can’t take them to McDonalds, but with wheels you can get that girl a Happy Meal, you can drive her to Boots for some new make-up and you can take random and pointless drives through country lanes to seem poetic and somehow romantic. The best bit of advice would be: don’t worry about what it is you’re driving, just drive something.
Once you’ve secured a vehicle – unless it’s a newer car – it’ll probably need some alloys. Rolling on steelies is retro but for once, it’s not cool. Dependent upon what car you have bought, the chances are you’ll be able to buy some alloy wheels from the higher spec version of your car for around about £300-400. Don’t pay any more than that because wheels alone won’t guarantee you become involved with the ladies – it makes much more than that. Women like a man who knows what he’s doing; don’t buy 19inch alloys when you can only fit 17s – it’s just going to look very silly. Try and keep the car looking manufacturer fresh – i.e. use standard parts that complement the original look but upgrade and improve, rather than destroy and chavify.
If you want to impress the ladies with the sound of your 65bhp three cylinder engine note, then you’re going to fail when you go full throttle. All it’s going to sound like is a tractor’s engine coupled with the sound of herd of dying sheep. The most obvious way of improving the sound of your engine is to buy an induction kit. It’ll sound chav but whenever you go near the throttle a sound that makes your banger sound like a 200bhp hot hatch will reverberate across the campus.
Another way to go – and perhaps a less chavvy way – is to buy an upgraded exhaust system. This will add real bhp and give the car a genuine sound – as opposed to a fake one. It’ll cost an arm and a leg and it’d probably be a bit pointless on something like a 1983 Ford Fiesta but one something like a 1999 Peugeot 206, it’d be perfect.
Remember; keep it simple, relatively cheap, as de-chav as possible and you’ll be on to a winner. Just don’t go and ruin it all by lowering your seat so low only people above 7 foot can see you – nobody likes a cocky driver. Just drive it normally and you’ll look like a respectable but cool pimp of the establishment.
This is a guest post on behalf of Netcars.com.
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